Wednesday, July 23
"Yet it is the infectious energies of exuberance that proclaim and disperse much of what is marvelous in life. Exuberance carries us places we would not otherwise go- across the Savannah, to the moon, into the imagination. . . Delight is it's own reward, adventure is it's own pleasure."1 comments
Kay Redfield Jamison
I think of my own energy and the effect it has had on those around me. Once, lying underneath a thick milky way in a grassy field behind a small sea side shed, he told me that he wished he could wrap his arms around me just to feel my energy shake and putter and twist. Maybe one day, he thought, I would transfer my energy onto him and he too would match my exhilaration for life. Sometimes I am contagious. Other times I am inspiring. Sometimes I am overwhelming. But I am never a drug you can dissolve on your tongue to shoot straight to the bloodstream.
Most of the time, I surround myself with people who seem incapable of being indifferent. Lofty dreams of teaching for years in China, rehabilitating hips, knees, thighs, & shoulders, holding steady to the small triumphs of life in the face of hardships, chasing steadfast the dreams of an artist/ writer/ lover, etc. I thrive, wide eyed and gesticulating madly, with crazy amazing ideas and lust for life. Around these people I am explosive. When I first met Lisa and Marius in a hallway that soon became our coming-of-age romping grounds, they wondered secretly if I was on speed: my excitement to meet them was palpable. We ended up being three fireballs, feeding off one another until wee hours of evening. Angela and I joke that at times my energy is that of a puppy in that I often wear myself out by two pm.
What gets me is that every day has something incredible. I want to share this with someone: even on horrible, no good days. It is often when I am lowest that incredibles jump out and grab, shake, and choke me in a fury that I have not noticed them sooner. What gets me even more is the fact that this excitement I have -crazy energy at times- sometimes scares people. My inability to not dance when I hear something that inherently moves me is something that leaves other scratching their heads. I can hear the thoughts: aren't you embarrassed to be dancing when no one else is on the dance floor? Most of the time, I am confident in my ability to dance on and usually, somebody will join. Like the time I danced, literally every single song, all night at Maribeth's wedding even though I had been sick for six weeks prior. I want to continue to energize and marvel and write to celebrate. To continue enthusiasm for nesting birds, budding Clematis, and perfect moments. "I went out only for a walk and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in" -John Muir.
Mates of State- Get Better
posted by Jenny Wednesday, July 23, 2008
