Thursday, January 3
Excerpts from Trying to Talk with a Man0 comments
by Adrienne Rich
Out in this desert we are testing bombs,
that's why we came here.
What we've had to give up to get here-
whole LP collections, films we starred in
playing in the neighborhoods, bakery windows. . .
the language of love-letters, of suicide notes
afternoons on the riverbank
pretending to be children. . .
Walking at noon in the ghost town
surrounded by a silence
that sounds like the silence of the place
except that it came with us
and is familiar
and everything we were saying until now
was an effort to blot it out-
coming out here we are up against it
Out here I feel more helpless
with you than without with you. . .
I'm not sure why early winter months occasionally catapult me into deep, personal self reflection with potential side effects of sleeplessness, need for someone else's written words, loss of appetite, hyperactivity, and a strong desire to sing ridiculous songs really, really loud in the car. A friend stated that he calls these episodes "necessary ruts" and that the end result is always growth. The next day on my way to Indiana I passed a little Volkswagen Rabbit with a bumper sticker that read "Change is inevitable. Growth is optional." I jotted the message down between a Shins quote and a few song suggestions from Sound Opinions.
Last night I was gently challenged to write down raw thoughts (you know, the unedited and sloppy ones). I sat for a few minutes before a blinking curser, totally terrified of what ramblings would spew out onto the page like the pea green soup vomitted from Regan, the Exorcist girl. So there are a ton a things that I am unsure about right in this moments. I just want to say, that what I am sure of is that the incredibly encouraging words that have been coming from so many lovely sources have been so helpful. Thank you. You know who you are.
posted by Jenny Thursday, January 03, 2008
