Friday, June 1
I get so giddy when a close friend opens a new blog. Especially when the writing is sassy, striking, wild, and created by a true beloved. I present to you Lisa who posed the question, What are you scared of? In celebration of her bagel blog, I will happily answer her question.0 comments
Ben would laugh and say I am afraid of anything and everything- falling off a mountain, mosquitos (now that we live near Skokie), car accidents, and even some fruits. My list could go on and on so I will share what I am not afraid of . . . or at least I am handling it better than I thought.
When I was in second grade our class took a trip to Edward Hospital where I distinctly remember fainting at a nurse's presentation re: IVs. Blood and guts never bothered me. However problematic skin and things traveling beneath the skin made me woozy. I am an easy fainter so imagine my reservations when I began my internship at a level one trauma hospital last summer. To battle light headedness, cold sweats, and black outs, I ate 1.5 cups of oatmeal every morning. I only experienced two black outs that summer and with each one I was able to politely excuse myself from the room, get to an elevator, enter the elevator, and crouch down until my vision returned.
This past week I was assigned to work with a patient who had much of his body charred in a house fire. I was slightly terrified that I would be the provider managing skin graft sights and wound care for six + months. Prior to seeing this patient, I loaded up on calories to ensure no light headedness would be encouraged by hunger. When he revealed to me the skin grafts of his stomach, shoulders, neck, and chest, I tentatively held my breath. ThenI was suddenly marveling at the absolute beauty of skin- the way it literally webbed and branched over his body like ivy, trying so desparately to cling to a body not it's own and thrive.
I still have so many health-related fears but I find myself continually confronting them on a daily basis as a therapist. Ben was concerned that if I worked in medical settings, I would find more to worry about. I think it has had the opposite effect: I learn the how the body heals and cares for itself after a mild or major trauma. And sometimes, maybe, in the middle of pain, frustration, and the slowness of re-growth, we can occasionally catch a glimpse at the beauty of being human.
posted by Jenny Friday, June 01, 2007
