The Chemistry Battle
October 01, 2003
i found myself at pita inn with megan a lot that fall. she critiqued my hummos nibbling technique and i balanced my chair on its two back legs while exploding all my anxieties at her. i could not pass chemistry despite the many hours i studied for the quarter's first test.
miss organic, mr misogynist, the aloof boy upstairs, and marius tried to help me but i still left the test with weak knees. northwestern's chemistry was definitely not my forte.
"if there is anything at all that i want in life, it is to drive my truck until it is an antique and write & illustrate children's books" i told megan.
"then why are you taking chemistry? in forty years will your chemistry class have made an impact on your life?" she asked.
we had a conference call in the parking lot: the brain, jan (my mom on the phone, that is), and i. i decided to drop chemistry and i felt defeated. megan spent the night. the next morning we went for a drive up sheridan road and there was a tree with leaves so red it looked as though it were a person with their hair on fire. i slammed on the brakes and rummaged through my purse.
"megan!" i cried hysterically. "i dont have my camera!"
megan tried to relax me and said we could come back with the camera later.
"but the leaves will be gone! they will have fallen by the time we get back!" i panicked and had this fast forward vision of leaves tumbling quickly and quietly off all the trees.
megan grabbed me. "jenny! this is what chemistry has done to you! it is gone now. you dont have to worry. just breath." and she was right- without chemistry i could breath a little easier.
i know one day i will take chemistry again just to conquer it and rid the defeated feeling i have everytime i think of CO2. but that wont be until after grad school and after i have secured my lifestyle. i have promised myself that i will never be without my camera in the fall. everything is a one shot deal in the fall- things flee or take flight before the winter hits and you have to grasp on to each of them before they are lost.